I used to enjoy my life. Way back before giving myself on that decision, I can truly say that I had fun way back. Getting too attached to my friends, staying up late with them at our favorite hang-outs, conquests from prospects to prospects–those experiences were indeed built with so much excitement.
But being too engrossed with these things, getting too much drunk from happiness; I came to a point when I realized I was drowning with so much happiness that I haven’t thought about the important things that truly matter in life.
Yes, I was happy. But I came to look at those missing points in my life. I haven’t pursued that much in my studies and haven’t received any scholastic honors (a silent gift that I should have given to my mom); everyday when I get home, never did I spend my spare time talking to her and used to pray just because of mere obligation. Being so attached with friends made me feel accepted, but still I’m in the search for something, something that I haven’t found yet.
Something that is not within me.
I wasted five years in persecution. Without anything accomplished, without me knowing myself and realizing my life purpose.
The death of my beloved grandmother, a painful breakup from my first love and moving away from my hometown all happened in one instance that made me feel more depressed. When I finally felt for myself that I cannot bear anymore the things that are happening in my life, I knelt before the Lord, gave up on the battle, and surrendered myself entirely to Him.
Giving in wasn’t that easy. At first, I used to blame Him for all those things. I kept on being strong, but I realized then that I wouldn’t be stronger if not for Him.
I can still remember, it was July 2007 when I met this woman, a full-time missionary and my spiritual adviser, a person whom God have entrusted to submit myself in accordance to His will. That time, she confessed she can clearly see through me the things that are bothering me, and on that day, she started evangelizing me by the hand of the Lord.
From then on, I let Him enter my life and I started doing things all for His glory. I learned to managed my life in the right way, with affirmation from God’s will. Fortunately, before I was about to graduate from college, I finally realized what I’ve been wanting for all my life.
There are circumstances that what I wanted doesn’t fit the situation. But that doesn’t stop me from pursuing my deepest desire–God’s will for me. I believe God wanted me to become a writer, that I may bless everyone through my own pen. With Him affirming on my decision, I became a student writer of our school publication and a writer of my own right.
Then I learned to expand my borders through youth services, spreading God’s word through my friends and currently, spreading God’s goodness through blogging. These are just some of the things that keeps me busy on serving the Lord, and I definitely wanted to expand my territories more for God’s glory.
Of course, that doesn’t stop me from committing mistakes. Temptation’s just too strong if you’re closer to the Lord. However, as much as I can, I’m taking every temptation as an opportunity to do good, and every time I commit a sin, I make sure that I confess to the Lord with all my heart and resubmitting again myself for His will.
Like others who have been so much blessed because of the Lord, do you also wanted to experience God’s blessings?
If so, kindly join me in prayer and let God do the honors for your life by submitting yourself entirely to Him:
“Lord, I know I am unworthy enough to stand before you. But please forgive me for I have sinned. I bhelieve that you have died from the cross and have risen from death to save us from our sins. From this day forward, I am submitting myself entirely to You O Lord. Let your Holy Spirit dominate my life and make me more useful for your Glory. These things I pray in Jesus’ name, Amen”
